i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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