i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
