Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
