We're facebook friends in real life
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i out mim tonsoeep
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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