So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
