my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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