Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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