the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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