Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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