I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
