goodnight i made you a song goodbye
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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