and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize