apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
