ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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