I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I understand Curling. That high.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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