Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
