a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
