Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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