Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
