You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
