Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
