i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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