I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
