One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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