i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
