Michael Bay diarrhea
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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