Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
false alarm. still invincible.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
how do you play pong handcuffed?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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