My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
