Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
