That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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