the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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