Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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