We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
