What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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