Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize