We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
