Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
