I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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