You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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