Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
