i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
