He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
