im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
