sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
