I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
