Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
