dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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