two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize