cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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