Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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