I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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