have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
