what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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