Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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