Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
