i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
