she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
