I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
