I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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