My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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