How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
