If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
