when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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