you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
