i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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