my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Text me some of your sweat
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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