the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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