Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
