so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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