she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
