Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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