Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
