just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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