my soul wont recognize me after tonight
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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