I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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