I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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